A Giant Tortoise w0uld indeed cut the mustard - but it may just have to be a knitted one as I have sworn never ever to let a creature, whether it be four legged, furry or scaly, ever befriend me, ever, again in my life.... ever!
But how's this browsy below whose "pimped his ride"!? ooowaaah... now thats ingenuity in its best form - wonder if he has a remote control, or whether the wheel has ever run him over because it gets impatient with the slowness - like the random 40km drivers on Mosston Road when your running a tad to late for work because you've never needed an alarm clock but just this once your body clock failed you?
While wiling over a grand cup of real coffee, with my grand browsy Daniel the other morning, I spied four Jamaican tortoises on the telly box... okay, so admittedly they were humans dressed up in giant tortoise costumes, but struth Ruth, they were entirely funny with green dreadlocks and congo drums.... Daniel was near done choking with laughter on his rice bubbles!
I'd call my giant tortoise 'Rico'... and it would speak fluent Italian...
Italian Phrase of The Day: "Lo ho trovato un tortoise giamaicano, uomo."
I found me a Jamaican tortoise, man!